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LOST IN SPACE-Revolt of the Androids, The Colonists


Chase - Posted on 10 October 2009

REVOLT OF THE ANDROIDS

WRITERS-BOB AND WANDA DUNCAN

DIR-DON RICHARDSON

 

NARRATION: Last week, we left Will, Dr. Smith, and the Robot searching for a ruby eating monster, unaware that an indestructible super android was approaching...

 

TEASER-not fully recapped

 

The monster eats rubies. Will, Smith, and the Robot move on to another area but find nothing. Smith says, "Oh dear. We could be so rich."  Will smiles, "We?"  Smith feels that it is high time he consider his future, using "dear boy" in his statement. He will set up a trust fund for Will. Will isn't sure--dad put the area of the monster off limits. NOTE: Behind them we see blue and orange trees. Robot tells Smith he is not programmed to become a jewel thief. Smith calls him an overcautious concoction. They move on. Robot yells, "Warning! Warning! Extra terrestrial life form approaching!"  Smith gasps, "Where? Where?"  Robot points, "There!"  A blue and red wearing android with a silver face and head plate blasts into existence near by. Robot checks twice--this is a super android (this is used in a promo on a UHF station TV-55). Will finds a fallen control panel which came off the android's belt. Robot warns about putting it back on. Smith makes Will put it on but Robot continues, "I repeat, warning! Warning!"  Smith yells, "Warning, warning my foot! Be still you dunderhead!"  The belt lights up and the IDAK (the initials on his chest plate) android opens its eyes and looks at them. It says, "Crush, Kill, Destroy,"  over and over. Smith yells, "William!"  He runs and Will runs also. It follows them repeating, "CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY!"

 

ACT ONE

Idak, the Instant Destroyer and Killer, chases the pair. It fall over a rock. Robot does not think it will be acting like a Superman. Smith introduces himself. Idak asks, "You are not the one?"  His android target is 110, model number 105. Smith plans to use Idak and orders the robot to work on him and fix him. Will takes Smith aside, worried about putting IDAK on full power. Smith cons Will into not telling anyone about this. Judy thinks she and Penny have gone far enough. Penny is collecting flowers for a bouquet she wants to give to mom. Penny just wants five more minutes and finds some flowers she's never seen before on top of a rock, "What are they?"  They hear a moan; Penny says, "Let's get back to the ship."  Judy says, "No, if somebody's been hurt, they need help."  A woman is in a silver suit and on the ground, "Penny, is that you?"  There is smoke where the woman lay. Judy asks, "Who are you?"  "I'm Verda, don't you remember?"  Verda's face is not silver and her hair is black. Penny asks her about this. Verda tells her she is more human now. Judy and Penny help her up. Later in their lower deck room, Maureen and John talk to Verda. Maureen tells her friends help each other, "Let us help you."  Verda explains there was a proxy fight and the Celestial Department Store came under new management. When all the model Bs were ordered to line up to be disassembled, Verda ran. Maureen says, "Oh Verda."  Verda found herself transported to this planet (HOW?). John tells her, "Well you came to the right place, Verda, they'll never find you here."  Verda says a destruction android was created and sent after her. He is probably here. Maureen says, "We're not going to send you away or let anything happen to you."  Verda, at John's request, waves her hand and turns the map of Saturn and Jupiter that is on the wall into a screen which shows IDAK. Smith is in a karate outfit. Robot has finished with IDAK. IDAK crushes a rock in one hand but cannot in his left hand. Robot says, "Back to the old drawing board."  Smith tells IDAK that nothing is accomplished without alittle sweat and strain. Smith tells him after this workout, later, a large furry creature in a cave will do as his sparring partner. Smith suggests Will or the Robot work out IDAK on some moves on a wrestling mat (part of the Jupiter's cargo?). Will readies to fight IDAK. Robot says, "I am programmed to protect Will Robinson--I cannot allow it."  Smith will do it when the Robot chickens out. Smith tries to test IDAK but falls many times amid GIRL FROM THE GREEN DIMENSION circus music. Will helps Smith up. Smith wants to draw up a contract to make himself IDAK's manager. Smith suggests a lunch break and time to draw up a schedule for IDAK but Robot, knowing this is just a ploy to get his breath back, laughs at Smith, who calls him a nickering ninny. Smith tells IDAK that knee bends will help him, "I am the living example of the importance of keeping fit!"  Smith and Will leave. IDAK's built in signal--a homing device activates. Robot tries to keep him at the spot, "I am programmed to protect the Robinsons. Stay here."  IDAK hits the Robot who careens into a rock (and we hear Bob May moaning as the Robot is in pain--a very irritating Robot voice). IDAK moves off, "CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY! CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY!"

 

ACT TWO

Judy and John come out of the Jupiter II. John goes to Don who tells him the force field will be out for another 24 hours. Judy goes to Penny who is watering the garden in the hydroponic tables. She tells her she is doing a good job and to come in soon--lunch is almost ready. IDAK approaches from behind a rock. The girls scream and turn toward him, backing to the table. John orders them to slowly walk into the spaceship. Judy asks who is that but John tells her to just get inside and keep going. Don gets the laser rifles. IDAK says, "Crush, kill, destroy."  Penny runs to Verda on the lower deck. Verda has decided to give herself up but Penny won't let her. She knows of a hiding place and tells Verda they can go out the back door. NOTE: THE BACK DOOR? AN ESCAPE HATCH? Verda feels it would be better if he did not find her in the spaceship. Smith runs out, telling John and Don, "You mustn't harm him!"  John tells IDAK, "This is an Earth base."  When IDAK doesn't listen, John fires a laser blast at his chest plate but it does no good. Will runs out to Mister IDAK; John joins Will. NOTE: We can see a good shot into the window of the Jupiter II and into the control room---also the planet looks very good in this scene and in the entire episode. Will says, "We're all humans here-I wouldn't lie to you."  IDAK's detector confirms this and he leaves. Smith calls to him and then fakes to John and Don that he doesn't know who it is. Will shakes his head and smiles as he, Don, and John go inside. Penny finds the cave blocked by a boulder. IDAK is heard and coming closer. Penny tells Verda, "Humans don't give up. They may get into trouble and become afraid but they don't give up."  IDAK is calling out, "Crush, Kill, Destroy."  He arrives to them and Verda bluffs to IDAK who tells her he knows she is Model Target 105. He raises his fist but Verda looks at his detector. IDAK admits it could be faulty and that he was only constructed last week--he doesn't know what rain is. Penny is sitting on a rock, not moving. Verda tells IDAK that androids are pretty dreary but IDAK tells her he is the strongest creature in the universe. Verda gets him to move the boulder for them. John arrives. Verda tells him the CDS gave IDAk some human qualities for him to have the ability to make decisions. Penny and John think the human side of him doesn't want to hurt anyone. John says, "But he's programmed to kill. Sooner or later he's going to come after you."  Verda tells IDAK that humans are curious and irrational sometimes. They wanted to see what was behind the boulder. Verda will teach him what it means to be human. She and IDAK leave. John hugs Penny and puts his arm around her, taking her off toward camp, "It's gonna be all right, Penny."

 

ACT THREE

An extra leg and steps of the Jupiter II is used for Verda to sit on and be an audience to watch Will and IDAK play baseball. Verda even has a flag to wave. Will shows IDAK the bat and ball, then pitches to him. IDAK flies up and get it. We hear music from THE ANDROID MACHINE. Verda then goes to show IDAK how to hold the baseball bat, "I've observed humans."  NOTE: Wasn't that a giveaway that she was not human!!!??? IDAK wants to bat her head in but Verda talks him out of it. IDAK thinks his detector was picking up his own signals (WHAT?). He is sorry. He hits the ball and it sparks into a flaming mass. Will ducks and it flies overhead. Smith is coming into the area with a suitcase carry bag. Will yells, "Lookout!"  The ball hits a rock and makes a flaming hole in it! Smith calls this a lethal game and takes IDAK off with records for him. Smith and IDAK go to the drill site area. IDAK moves a heavy rock for Smith who calls him a stalwart automaton. Smith has a contract for IDAK to sign, "Never mind the fine print."  When IDAK tells Smith he cannot write thus he cannot sign it, Smith slips, "Nonsense, that's no excuse, Verda is an android and she can write."  IDAK crushes a rock, backing Smith up to a larger rock. He confronts Smith about Verda being the target android. Smith tries to bluff, genuinely afraid what his slip has done, "I didn't say that. I said she has adenoids."  IDAK moves off, "Crush, Kill, Destroy!"  Smith says, "Oh dear, oh dear, what've I've done. No matter."  He forges IDAK's name on the contract, wondering if he spells his name with a C or a K, deciding on a K. Verda and Penny look for flowers she dropped and find them all wilted (possibly the flowers she had when she found Verda with Judy). Verda makes them fully alive again, telling Penny miracles can happen when one is happy. During this scene we hear brief THE CURSE OF COUSIN SMITH opening title music. Verda sends Penny off when IDAK comes to them. Penny smiles, mistakenly thinking Verda wants to talk to IDAK alone. The girl leaves. IDAK tells her he knows and she agrees. He raises his fist to smash her but his chest plate blows and his eyes shut. Verda goes for help, knowing what he is feeling now. A large machine appears in a blast and rolls on wheels at IDAK. NOTE: We see the full scale of the planet in a rare long shot--a very impressive area of it. A voice from the device claims IDAK has failed and that he will be reduced pending removal to the CDS (WILD ADVENTURE music). It uses its vacuo head to knock IDAK over behind a rock. A new IDAK, made by the machine, slides out of its cubby on a slab--this is IDAK circa Omega 17 whose programming is as follows: "you will not be susceptible to words, you are totally devoid of feelings of any kind, your only function is to destroy. You will destroy anything, including humans, that get in the way."  The new IDAK leaves the machine. The device blasts off.

 

ACT FOUR

Smith crumbles the contract out of guilt. Will arrives and Smith confesses to him. Will tells him Verda is all right. He saw her getting Dad and the Robot. Smith and Will sit on a rock. The New Idak, Omega 17 arrives. Will says, "Gosh, he looks even bigger than before."  He picks up a branch to hit them but they get up and leave without seeing this. Smith wants to test IDAK in a field. Will sees IDAK stand over Smith on a higher rock and almost hits him with a big piece of rock. Omega crushes it. Will says, "Oh, ahh, Mr. Idak, could you show me how you break rocks again."  Omega breaks it in his left hand. Will thanks him and says, "Ohh, Dr. Smith."  Will moves to Smith, aware this is not the real IDAK-Alpha 12 model. The new IDAK says, "Crush, kill, destroy!"  Robot wheels to the area Verda left Alpha 12 in. Verda and John are with him. Robot finds tracks. They figure out the CDS machine that made Idak was here. John asks Robot to use his tracking mechanisms. Robot is jealous of Verda and he asks John to ask her. Robot finds Idak, "Alert. Alert."  John and Verda get Idak Alpha 12 up. Verda deduces he has been hit by a laser beam using her hand. Robot can do the job, claiming he is "completely equipped."  John looks at other footprints. Verda waves her hand over them. John asks her about another destroyed. He says, "Well, with another IDAK on the loose everyone could be in danger."  Verda adds, "And the mistakes in this one, would be corrected in the next."  John goes; Verda stays while Robot works on Idak, connecting his ankle wire to knee wire to thigh. The power booster is not repaired--he is no longer a super being. Idak awakens. Verda tells him, "The machine created another Idak and set him loose on the planet. The Robinsons are in great danger."  Idak wants to save them but finds his power gone. The three go to save the Robinsons anyway. Smith takes his boot off but Will gets upset by this, "Don't stop now."  Smith complains that Will has been propelling him at an Olympic pace. He has a stone in his boot. Will tells him that Idak was about to hit him with a rock. Idak comes with his detector on. Smith says, "Oh dear."  Will says, "Don't panic."  He figures they should get back to camp. Smith says, "Never fear, Smith is here. More of less."  Smith gets up, bluffing to Idak, then whispering, "Don't run, William."  Smith throws his suitcase bag and runs, screaming. Will follows. Will and Smith run to camp near a rock. John and Don are standing guard with laser rifles. Smith tells them to shoot the new Idak, "He's an imposter, shoot!"  The new one fights John and Don, grabbing their guns down. John throws sand in the Idak's face, "Will, get the Robot!"  Will runs, "Right!"  Smith follows Will. John recovers Don who recovers the rifles, "Don! Back to the ship!" John runs to the ramp where Judy and Maureen are, "Quick inside!"  They all go in and the door shuts. Idak bangs on the hatch with his hands and then with rocks. Idak is an Alpha 12 and cannot hope to defeat an Omega 17. Verda tells him he is different now, "Once I was like you but humans believed in me and something of what they were became a part of me."  Idak tells her he is human enough to know one thing--he wishes to survive. He is confused by her words and starts to leave. Will arrives with Smith, telling what happened. He thinks the new Idak is going to break down the cosmium (or is this osmium--a hard, brittle, heavy, white, metallic element of the platinum group?) steel hatch. Smith tells Robot to stop the new Idak before "it wrecks the ship to say nothing of the loved ones inside."  Robot tells them he can blow up his atomic generator. Despite protests from Will, Robot goes, saying goodbye. Smith says, "Goodbye Robot, goodbye Sweet Prince."  Smith and Will leave. Verda says, "Oh Idak."  WHAT IS SHE, MAUREEN? With her OH JOHNs all the time?  Idak Omega 17 smashes at the hatch with larger rocks and beats the Robot before the Robot can finish the countdown to destroy himself and the Idak. Part of the Robot's plastic collar falls off when he is beaten. Smith tries to get Verda to lure the New Idak away with her diodes. Verda tells him this machine is for destruction--nothing else. Idak Alpha arrives, wishing to help. Smith calls him a wobbling weakling. Idak proposes to run and allow 17 to finish him which allow for time for Verda to get away. Smith says, "Good thinking."  Verda has a different idea--smash the Zenan control belt on the new Idak with a rock Will gives them. Idak fights Idak. Alpha is thrown to Verda who tells him she believes in him. They fight again. 17 crushes the shoulder of the other downward and throws him. Will is pulled by Smith backward. Alpha 12 is hit down again and again. From the ground he manages to hit the belt with the rock and 17 falls out of commission. A blast occurs and the machine appears. John, Maureen, Don, Judy, and Penny come out of the ramp of the Jupiter II. The machine pulls 17 under its tube. John tells Don,  "Get me a disintegrator capsule."  17 is pulled  but the machine seems to crush him under it. He vanishes. John tells the women, "Stay here!"  John and Don run as Idak Alpha 12 is being pulled up. The two men hold Idak back. John runs to a panel on the machine, opens it, and tosses the capsule in. He runs back to Don and they pull Idak away from the tubing. The machine blasts apart and is gone (WILD ADVENTURE music is heard). Verda and Idak hold hands, contact of their digital sensors. Smith admits he made a mistake. Don tells Smith he couldn't manage a flea circus. Smith dreams of his name in lights when Idak wins the World Series when he gets him back to Earth, "Dr. Zachary Smith and protege."  Verda is sure the CDS will come looking for them but she knows of a planet very near here where if they spent 1000 years searching they wouldn't find it. There are no people there. Idak wants to go. He says, "Goodbye Will Robinson."  Will shakes his hand. Verda kisses Will and says, "Goodbye Dr. Smith,"  with a grin on. She goes to the others, "Goodbye Penny."  She hugs her, "Remember me. I love you all."  John says, "Goodbye Verda."  Verda and Idak blast off. Robot comes around. "Let him go to his interplanetary Eden, what care I--I shall train another."  Smith will train another Idak as he did the first, "Come along, my boy,"  he says to Will, and to the Robot, "...and you too, ninny."  The three move off. Penny says, "Hey, wait for me!"  She runs after them.

 

CLIFFHANGER: Smith eats as he sits on a rock while also reading a book. Behind and around him, Don in his t-shirt is working on Relay Transmitter 00 one. Smith is not helping Don much, handing some things every once in awhile...and the wrong things at that. Don calls Will at RTS002 where Will is almost done working on his station with the Robot. Will tells Robot when fixed they will be able to send a signal almost anywhere. Will wonders about the girls and their part at their station. Robot tells him Judy and Penny are intelligent and  highly trained. Will says, "Yeah, I know but you know girls."  They will get the relay from the girls and in turn will relay it to Smith and Don who will pass it onto the Jupiter. Judy is up on a ladder working on 003 radio transmitter. Judy feels she followed the directions perfectly and cannot understand why it isn't working. Penny mocks her when she finds the solar battery out on a rock. Judy says she will get an A instead of an A plus. They put it in and turn the radio on. There is a loud screech. Robot calls it an alien sound wave. Will can't turn it off. Don and Smith hear it also. Smith yells about his ear drums. Maureen runs out of the Jupiter II ramp to John who is at RTS Central, "John, what's wrong?"  John yells, "It won't respond!"  Maureen asks, "Can I help?"   John moves to her and brings her in, wanting to control it from the Master System inside. Judy gasps, "Do you think it's the battery?!"  Judy and Penny cover their ears in extreme close ups as the noise grows worse. The machine blasts a second time and this blast throws them both back and onto the ground!

 

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK SAME TIME SAME CHANNEL-red lettering

 

REVIEW: Not a bad episode but not as good as fondly remembered. It certainly is not a forgettable episode. Despite Verda's nice return, it could have been better and more could have been made of Verda's tale but isn't. Her scenes with Penny are okay but Idak has no real relation to Will, thus the leaving scene is a bit silly--there is no real sadness as there was with Verda the first time. In fact, Verda hardly interacts much with any of the Robinsons who at times, seem to take second seat to the story of the two androids. Bob and Wanda Duncan claim to have known and liked the characters on LOST IN SPACE and for the most part, this comes through. Yet they don't use the characters very much---but one thing one cannot fault is the heavy action in part four--the fight, the attack of the Idak Omega, the machine attack. All that was nice to have. There is also plenty of music from the first five LOST IN SPACE episodes reused here--and quite a bit from the cliff scene in THERE WERE GIANTS. Of course, this is just a parody of SUPERMAN and not a great one at that but not terrible. NOTE: No astrogater. The monster that ate rubies looks like the Cosmic Monster from SPACE CIRCUS and the ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN from VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA.                

 

THE COLONISTS

WRITER-PETER PACKER

DIR-EZRA STONE

 

NARRATION: Last week, as you recall, we left our family of space pioneers trying to set up a network of radio relay stations, unaware that even at that moment, their peaceful planet was the target of an incredible army of alien invaders...

 

TEASER-NOT fully recapped; different shot arrangement--we see Don and Smith, Will and Robot, the girls at their station, and John at the Jupiter II with the outside station; there is no Don yelling at Smith; no geeky music as the girls try to fix their radio station; girls do not talk about the solar battery and Penny does not hand it to Judy after Judy can't understand what is wrong; the action also is different in arrangement: when the noise starts at the girls' station, the action switches to Will and Robot, then Don and Smith, then back to Judy and Penny being knocked down at the spot where the cliffhanger ended, then to Maureen running out of the spaceship to John...

 

Smith eats as he sits on a rock while also reading a book. Behind and around him, Don in his t-shirt is working on Relay Transmitter 00 one (this device was seen as the alien Volta Blade unit in THE CHALLENGE and will reappear as the Robinsons' weather station in THE MECHANICAL MEN--perhaps the Robinsons reuse alien machinery that is left behind on the planets they have been to). Don calls Will at RTS002 where Will is almost done working on his station with the Robot. Will tells Robot when fixed they will be able to send a signal almost anywhere. Will wonders about the girls and their part at their station. Robot tells him Judy and Penny are intelligent and  highly trained. Will says, "Yeah, I know but you know girls."  They will get the relay from the girls and in turn will relay it to Smith and Don who will pass it onto the Jupiter. Judy is up on a ladder working on 003 radio transmitter. Judy puts the solar battery into the radio station and turns it on. There is a loud screech. Robot calls it an alien sound wave. Will can't turn it off. Don and Smith hear it also. Smith yells about his ear drums. Judy gasps, "Do you think it's the battery?!"  Judy and Penny cover their ears in extreme close ups as the noise grows worse. The machine blasts a second time and this blast throws them both back and onto the ground! Maureen runs out of the Jupiter II ramp to John who is at RTS Central, "John, what's wrong?"  John yells, "It won't respond!"  Maureen asks, "Can I help?"   John moves to her and brings her in, wanting to control it from the Master System inside. Don tries the station after the noise stops. Penny and Judy's station is apart and on the ground. A glove is on the ground also. Will blames the girls for the mishap. Robot says, "Do not sell your sisters short, Will Robinson."  A hypersonic beam caused blast waves. Will cannot contact the Jupiter 2--the radio circuits in his walkie talkie are out also. Don sees the charred pack on the station he and Smith are at. Smith says, "You certainly can't blame me this time."  Don says, "I wouldn't put it past you, Smith, after all sabotage is your favorite sport."  Don continues to ask a protesting Smith who calls this insufferable. Don tells him he was only testing--he doesn't think Smith had anything to do with it-commenting that Smith doesn't have the mentality. Don will work on the station so calls the Jupiter 2 for spare parts. He can't get through so he takes the back off his radio--the parts in it are melted. Smith is scared and asks about lava and the warmth, then asks the Major if he sees an erupting volcano anywhere. Don tells him they wouldn't be alive if he did. They will go to Station Three. Smith thinks hiking in this mid day sun is unbearable. They leave. Someone uses a scepter to club the power unit and it bursts.

 

ACT ONE

Control Room table: John fishes around with some circuits. Maureen brings in some more asking, "You mean you can't get in touch with the others?"  John says, "No, we might as well be on a deserted island."  Maureen says, "Well, we are on sort of a desert...a deserted planet."  John says, "I'm not so sure about that."  He explains that even their backup systems are out and that this seems to be a deliberate plan of destruction. Maureen thinks they should go get the children. John says they should figure that the sensible thing to do would be to return to the spaceship. Maureen says, "They are sensible...I hope."  Will buttons his sleeves as he and Robot walk; Will figures the sensible thing to do would be to "try'n find out"  what happened. Robot tells him he knows. Will asks why he didn't tell him to which Robot responds, "You did not ask me."  Will mimics him, "You did not ask me,"  then almost yells, "Well, I'm asking you now!"  A hyper sonic wave emission series from a powerful source has knocked out their stations and communications. When Will continues that he wants to find the source and knock it out, Robot says, "You are the boss, Will Robinson."  Don and Smith go toward Penny and Judy's station. NOTE: For the first time in a long time and probably the first time this season, we see a long shot from overhead, giving a nice panoramic view of the planet set. Don is carrying his shirt. Don calls, "Judy,"  to which Smith calls, "Penny."  Then Don calls Penny to which Smith calls, "Judy."  Don asks him, "What are you Smith some kind of offbeat echo?"  Smith merely wants to do his part. They find the station wrecked and on its side. Smith finds the glove, "The poor dears."  Don takes it, "Don't be so morbid, Smith."  Don wants to go to Will's station. A loud female voice calls to them, "Wait! Wait where you are!"  It comes from the station and when Don tells Smith a voice can't hurt them, a stone is blown up behind them. Don says, "That voice has a sting to it, aye Smith."  The voice says, "Harken, return to your flight."  It also tells them to surrender. Don pulls his laser pistol but it whistles and falls out of his hand. It blows up. That squealing sound (later used in PLANET OF THE APES-the first movie) hits them again. Don tells the voice, "We were just on our back there anyway."  Maureen come out of the ship with John as Don and Smith return. The voice continues to bounce off the wrecked master system, a female voice which Smith tells them is deadlier than the male. The four move to look for the children but the sound drives them back and the female voice says, "Stand fast!"  John looks at the radio--the circuits are blown but the voice is coming from some high energy radio barrage. Smith comes out with the weapons but Don makes him take the rifles inside. Maureen asks John about the children. John thinks they should pretend to play it her way and they go inside the Jupiter II. Will and Robot go to a forcefield of electronic posts and find a landing area used recently. They hear another sound of electronics. Will goes to a cave entrance in the area near the former pad. Robot says, "Warning! Warning!"  There is a small tower near the entrance and two large female (?) statues outside it (one of these was seen in FOLLOW THE LEADER in the cave tomb of the alien Kanto). Will goes in and finds a large device which looks unknockable (this device is later used as the Robot's heart in TRIP THROUGH THE ROBOT and was part of the telescope in THE GIRL FROM THE GREEN DIMENSION). Will wonders if he can change the frequency. Robot cautions him. Will says, "You know, you're always cautioning or warning against something."  Robot tells him this is a hostile alien campsite. Will tells him this device can wreck all their equipment. He tries to wreck its frequency transmitter. A sound squeals out loudly. Blasts hit behind the device and Will, holding his ears, falls off the device platform. Will and Robot move to leave but hunched over men in gray tunics, gray sweats, and wearing gray hoods, not to mention having gray faces, come in. They hold archaic like weapons--one weapon being a stick with a spiked ball on the end. They block Will who tries to jump on one, only ending up on the male's arm. An alien female appears. She is dressed in black leather, skin tight and a full body suit and boots. There is a spiked headpiece on. All shiny black. "Bring the male child here!"  The gray male brings Will over to her while the others subdue the Robot. The woman points her scepter at Will's chin and Will goes wide eyed, "Male children who attempt acts of aggression against us rarely live to reach maturity."            

 

ACT TWO

Robot tells her he is M-3 and the woman believes it is ridiculous that the men should make the Robot in their image and make him sound like a man. The cave is mostly red and orange in light. Will pushes the arm of the slave that is near him, calling her mame and trying to explain what he was doing was not aggression. The woman tells him she is Noble Niolani of the Condor nation and also adds, "Male children should be seen and not heard."  She feels men are a useless lot and tells Will their numbers grow less and less thanks to she and her people. Her radio wave emissions paralyzed all attack systems. She has her men take Will and the Robot away. Ridiculously, Will yells, "Wait until my father hears about this..."  Niolani scoffs at a mere mortal male. Night--Maureen says, "John, I'm sure that that voice or that woman or whatever she is has the children."  Before they can finish, Niolani appears in a blast. She is on a couch being pulled by slaves, two slaves behind her fan her with huge feathers. All slaves are male. She is pulled to Don, Smith, Maureen, and John, demanding their weapons. Don takes Smith in to get the weapons. Smith says, "She's very beautiful...even if she is deadly."  Don scoffs, "Yeah, so's a tigress."  Don sends Smith out and comes out behind him a few seconds later. He pulls a laser pistol on her but she knew it was missing already. She pulls her scepter on Don and blows it out of his hand. It blows up on the ground. She warns of escape attempts or violence...their end will be swift if they try either. She makes her slaves take them off to her campsite inside the forcefield fence. Don murmurs, "Any woman who acts like a barbarian gotto be treated like one...from now on she's interplanetary enemy number one."  John, sternly, says, "We'll do nothing until we know about the children."  Smith points their attention to Will, who is in his T shirt and lifting rocks into a bucket near the Robot. Maureen runs toward Will but Niolani blocks her using her scepter and its whistle. The guard blocks Will with his weapon. Niolani tells Maureen that the women of her nation have had many sons---they are of little worth. She needs male animal physical strength including the male children. She grows tired of all their interruptions (Maureen, John, Don) and tells them they will not interrupt her again. "Harken to this,"  she says and then reads from a scroll of paper. This planet will become a settlement for a pioneer colony of female warriors from the Condor Nation."  They will provide an electronic purifying arch which the female warriors have to pass through before breathing the atmosphere of this planet. They will clear a landing pad area. They will work day and night. She shows them the forcefield and tempts Don to try it, "You are the arrogant one."  Don throws a rock and it blows up. Niolani tells Maureen, "You, come with me."  Maureen says, "No, I want to stay here."  Niolani tells her she will now fulfill her true destiny. Maureen follows the couch inside the cave. Smith tells the men that his back will break from this hard work. Not mocking him, Don seriously tells him that's the general intention for all of us. Later, Judy find Don among the rocks or inside or outside one of the caves or something. Judy tells Don she is not being worked--that here, women have their privileges. She is being waited on hand and foot by men while Niolani teaches the virtues of the female and the not so noble virtues of the male. Don asks if she's swallowing any of that when Penny arrives, telling Judy that Niolani doesn't want them cavorting with the men--it is against the rules. Don tells Penny to tell Niolani it is not against human nature and that she can't do anything about it. Judy looks at him, "I'd better go."  He takes her hand but she just walks away. Later, Don asks Smith, who isn't working, "Don't you have any conscious at all, Smith?"  Smith says, "Of course I do."  He tells him that he and the Professor are so much stronger than he. John and Don are in T-shirts. John asks him if he is going to help at all to build the arch. Smith tells him the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Smith wonders what a race of female warriors and leaders would be like--he thinks it would be very interesting. John plans to get the male members out first, "Niolani thinks all women are her ally."  He figures she won't hurt Maureen and the girls. Don gets Will and the Robot and they all carry rocks over with Smith who feels something pulling (Robot tells him it is the seat of his pants). John asks the slaves to open the forcefield so they can get rid of the rocks. John and Don throw rocks at the alien slaves and run. John pulls Will but Robot drops a rock on Smith's foot. Smith yells, calling him a clumsy clump. Don pulls Smith but the noise stops all of them again. In a red lined black cape, Niolani arrives and the slaves recover and grab John and Don. She tells them the colonists are due to arrive soon, adding, "If you have not finished the landing by then, you will die!"

 

ACT THREE

Day--Smith wears an artist's smock and hat, under the arch painting the bottom of it by laying under it. He almost become a sculptor. Will is asked to help the master-Smith-by Smith. Smith says, "The AGONY I endure for the ECSTACY of my art."  NOTE: This is a reference to a movie starring Charlton Heston called THE AGONY AND THE ECSTACY (1965) about Michealanglo. Smith calls the insulting Robot a misshapen mummy. Niolani with her couch arrives (WILD ADVENTURE music). Smith tells her artistic genius runs in his family. She asks Smith to come with her, questioning what he is doing. After they leave, Will worries about her punishing Dr. Smith. Robot and he talk about females. Robot thinks the female loves artists. Will asks how Robot knows. Robot says, "I have been around, Will Robinson, I have been around."  Penny arrives, smug and snobby. Will tells her they can fool the guards--the guards are stupid. Penny tells him that's what the Conditioning Machine says about all men. Penny tells Will he doesn't think much of girls. Will admits to Penny he thinks girls are kind of scatterbrained. They argue a bit and he tells her she is confused. Penny drops her bracelet and makes Will pick it up. Will does. Penny tells him to listen, "The male is nothing, the female is everything. Everything."   Niolani examines Smith and deems only his inner mouth and dentures passible...he is a poor specimen. She accidentally tickles him with her scepter. She makes him her consort. Sitting on a rock, John, Don, and Will plan. Don comments that Niolani stays inside with her device and she never sleeps. Robot says, "Split, the goons!"  Smith arrives with a scepter and calls them yardbirds, demanding they get back to work. Don asks if he is some kind of a teacher's pet. They wait before getting up. Smith blows up a rock with the scepter. He tells them dainty feet are coming. Don tells him they are waiting just to see how far he's really gone over. Will asks him if he's forgotten who's side he is on. Smith tells them Niolani wants him to make them work but he is an artist--beyond taking sides. John tells them, "All right, let's get back to work."  They get up. Later at night---John and Don, their regular shirts on now, go into Niolani's cave--the work is done. John tells her, "...to be free of you and your colonists,"  they did the work, not because of Smith. He demands their release. She tells him there are other planets and that her people are on a never ending colonization--they will be captives as long as they last, after which they will be like the male slaves around them. John and Don fight the slaves. Don runs for the device; John holds off the guards. Niolani points her scepter at him, "You are inviting death!"  Don yells, "Well, it's better than being one of your male slaves!"  The scepter makes Don fly against the device, his back to it, and blasts behind him. He glows in the negative!

 

ACT FOUR

Don falls. Niolani thinks he will recover--he is strong and his strength will be needed. Guards take Don and John out. She gets a message that the other colonists will arrive with the light of the sun. Smith asks where she will then go. He tries to get her to go to Earth---which he says is in "a neighboring solar system."  Maureen gives coffee to Don on a rock. Don says he feels like, "..I've been over Niagara Falls in a paper cup...three times."  He saw the antenna controls before he was clobbered. John asks Maureen if she thinks she can get to it. Maureen says, "Well, I'll try."  Niolani tells Smith they will take the arch with them when they go. They talk about their betrothal. She tells him his former friends will take the arch down and put it up again on a new planet. He wants them to be an honor guard when the colonists arrive. Maureen climbs up the antenna as John and Don watch. The forcefield is turned off by Maureen. She starts down but the Niolani couch and the alien woman on it, comes out, pulled by slaves. They pass and Maureen comes down. She goes into the cave, unseen. John and Don grab two guards from behind and choke them back behind the rocks. Two more with spiked ball sticks arrive. Smith arrives and tries to talk them out of leaving to get the guns stashed at the drill site nearby. Smith means no more to Niolani than Don and John do, Don argues with Smith, "You've got to let us go!"  John yells, "Go!"  The two punch the guards back and down. Don pulls Smith out and John helps. Smith calls the Sergeant of the Guard (WHAT THE...?). Spotlights go on and Niolani appears again out of thin air. She tells Smith he is almost as brave as their female warriors and will bestow upon him the Condor Merit Badge. The slaves get up and push Don and John off. Niolani follows them. Smith sees Will and Robot; Will trying to slip past unseen. Will puts his finger to his lips. Smith says, "Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil."  Will and Robot get out. His plan: to get Niolani in the dog house with her nation. He has a tin box of plastic explosives at the drill site. When Robot carries the detonator, he says, "Oh dear, it is frightfully heavy."  NOTE: Another instance of Robot acting like Smith! Robot tells Will, "I have programmed my computers to be sly, devious, and sneaky and have come up a Dr. Smith solution."  Will makes a statue that looks like one of the ones Smith has made and hung on the archway...but Will's is made out of plastic explosives! Will tells Robot to wait behind the rock with the detonator until he gets back. Robot says, "Wildo."  Will unrolls the wire out and hides as the guard passes. Amid ISLAND IN THE SKY music, Will plants his statue and hooks up the wire to it, hiding the wire with sand. Will arrives back at the Robot who says, "He also serves who stands and pulsates."   Later, Don and John are on a rock. Don is checking his boot or cleaning sand out of it or something. John tells Don about Will, "I don't know whether to pat him on the back or take him over my knee for taking a chance like that."  Don feels bravo for Will. Don also expresses concern for Smith, "What about Smith--Will did say he kept quiet when he saw them escape."  John tells Don that Smith will be amply warned. Day--Noble Niolani looks ravishing by Smith's words. Smith is in a gladiator garb! Or Roman soldier uniform! The first spaceship has sighted the planet. Smith says, "Yes sir," to her, then corrects himself. He goes to John, Will, and Don and tells them to "rise and shine."  Smith sees the statue Will made and thinking he has to retouch it, says, "Oh dear, oh dear."  He takes it to hammer it. Niolani arrives on her couch which comes to them under the arch. Maureen, Judy, and Penny arrive with it. Will goes to get Dr. Smith and stops him from hitting it, "It's...it's...it's explosive."  Smith calls it vandalism. Will convinces Smith not to give it away, telling him the women are going to just about make life unbearable for "us men"  and all they want to do is "kick around mankind. And I'm not gonna let you do this to dad and Don!"  Will asks if he is a man or a mouse. Smith picks up a hammer, "I shall never be a mouse."  Will says, "For a minute there you sounded like the old Dr. Smith but who am I kidding, you're not the old Dr. Smith."  He looks off, mad at Smith, really conning him. Smith agrees but Will tells him, "You have to take it."  Will takes Smith's smock off and will reconnect the blasting wires, telling him, "Whatever you do...don't drop it."  Noble Niolani calls and Smith stutters an answer to her, stuttering her name. Will keeps scaring Smith and prodding and pushing him, almost making him fall or drop it several times. Niolani says of Smith that she should have done away with him. Will crosses his finger and goes and reattaches the wires. Niolani sees the space rocket in the sky. It sounds close and is coming down. Will yells, "NOW!"  He races to the girls and his mother, "Run for your lives!"  John and Don fight the slaves off. John goes to the detonator near the Robot and plunges it down. The arch blows up and falls into pieces, one of which almost hits Niolani on her couch. She falls off. The rocket ship leaves. Niolani gets an alarm message which she answers to, "Yes, yes my queen. I will return."   Smith finds one of his statues and says, "Hail to the blithe spirit."  Robot tricks him into thinking it is one of Will's plastic explosive statues. Smith drops it and it cracks in half. Robot laughs. Smith says, "Just you wait you misguided mechanical misery."  Crying, Niolani feels her punishment for being defeated will children (crawling, sniveling), laundry, and other mundane things. Judy seems to laugh at this. Maureen tells Niolani, "It isn't a defeat to acknowledge men are just as good as women. Why the equality of the sexes has advantages you may have overlooked."  Niolani will tell her people, "Perhaps they will listen."  Will hands her her scepter, "Your scepter Noble Niolani."  Niolani, for the first time sounding sincere and not superior, says, "Thank you male child."  After a blast, she is gone. Will asks Penny if she still feels the male is nothing. Penny argues she never said any such thing. Will argues back, "Oh yes you did."  Maureen says something like, "Isn't it time that you two were tired of the battle?"  Or is it, "Retire the battle?"  Everyone laughs.

 

CLIFFHANGER: John, Don, and Smith come down the Jupiter 2 ramp to equipment and a large device near the table. The transistor rods were replaced. Now the relays have to be laid in. They have to build up to full power gradually. John tells Smith that is his job and goes inside. Don wonders about this. Smith says, "Never fear Smith is here."  Don says, "I know this is a mistake."  The yellow light will go on; Smith then has to hit the black button after two seconds; then he has to wait three seconds and hit the green button. Smith calls it, "CHILD'S PLAY."  Don says, "That's why we picked you for the job."  Maureen arrives as Don goes in and asks Smith if he would like coffee. The word black is brought up in order with the coffee. Smith gets confused when the signal goes on. He hits a button at Maureen's prompting, "Well whatever it is John wants you to do, I think you'd better go ahead and do it."  His hitting of the wrong color button makes a large explosion go off inside the spaceship control room! Don falls; John is blown into the elevator. Maureen yells, "Ohhh, oh John."   Smith hits a blue button and more blasts hit. A snapped wire, shouting electrical sparks, heads at John. The device outside blasts up. Smith falls near the Jupiter II side. Maureen runs to him, "Dr. Smith! Dr. Smith."  Smith says he is innocent, the Professor must have got his wires crossed. Maureen says, "Look, John and Don are in there. We've got to get to them."  Smith tells her to go ahead, "In the event of a further disaster I shall care for the children."  Maureen says, "No, you're coming with me!"  NOTE: Adda girl, Maureen, some exposure to Noble Niolani must have given you some guts...for once. Smith says, "I don't see why we should both risk our lives."  Maureen gets him up, "Come on now--they may be badly injured. Go ahead."  She shoves him toward the door. As they enter, John yells, "Maureen, stay back!"  Smith runs to the gun rack area, "Ahhh, I knew this was a mistake!"  John yells, "There's a high voltage cable moving in the room!"  Smith gasps, "Ahh, we're all going to be killed!!"  The wire cable blasts near the elevator but moves at John who is trapped in the corner of the elevator and the wall. NOTE: John is talking a mile a minute and his mouth is moving as he shouts dialogue but none is heard. This will be heard in the reprise in next week's teaser. As John shields his face with his arms and seems to be talking away, the cable blasts a large explosion across the opposite area.

 

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK SAME TIME SAME CHANNEL-red lettering

 

REVIEW: While LOST IN SPACE hater John Peel picked (or peeled) this episode apart for no reason, THE COLONISTS is pretty good compared to other second season entries for a number of reasons. First, it involved all the Robinsons again, something not really done in a long time and not as effectively as THE COLONISTS. Second, while Peel feels the escape bids that fail are boring--I found some much needed action a pleasant surprise--and especially enjoyed seeing them fail as that was unexpected. Third, the Robinsons spend a good part of the story away from the Jupiter II, not that the Jupiter is a bad set but it was so overused in this season and never really got off the ground from FORBIDDEN WORLD to THE GALAXY GIFT. I do wish more could have been made by the rift between the male and female members of the Jupiter II (Don and Judy; Will and Penny) but not much was. It would have given Judy, Penny, and maybe even Maureen more to do. As it was, Maureen was whole heartedly on the men's side and made no misconceptions about it. The whole idea of Penny and Judy being brainwashed by a Conditioning Machine of the aliens would have made some nice drama but at this point, LOST IN SPACE was fairly undramatic. LOST IN SPACE never treated women fairly at all, certainly not as intelligently as STAR TREK, THE TIME TUNNEL, and LAND OF THE GIANTS. Here, things go from bad to worse...as the two strong men (John and Don) don't even consider the possibility and interest of a woman ruled civilization. Francine York makes Niolani quite pleasant at times, a bit menacing, somewhat over the top, and sexy.

 

 

Like Peel, I have some complaints too! For one, why do they need the arch for the colonists who will arrive when Niolani seems to have passed onto the planet and arrived already...where is her arch? Are the arriving colonists different from her in some manner or in physiology? Did she need an arch? Or was she some pawn of the ones who were arriving? Also why need a landing pad when Will and Robot found a landing area scorched quite recently. And why would the colonists, supposedly militant, leave just because an arch was blown up? Why not build another one? Niolani must have still had her powerful scepter and her devices? Why give up so quickly? The story, like so many LOST IN SPACEs had so much more potential, some lovely ideas, and what could have been interesting interplay. Instead, it just seems to border on all of the good qualities and play it by the numbers. Of interest was Smith keeping quiet about Will and the Robot getting away; John wondering if Will should be punished or patted on the back for taking the chance he did; Will using Smith's own con tricks against him; the Robot acting a bit like Smith again; and Maureen finally doing something dangerous--shutting off the power antenna. This might be one of the only individual things the character did which was dangerous and bordered on adventurous. Maureen could have faked that she was with Niolani...this would have made more intense scenes than Smith turning over to Niolani. Perhaps Judy and Penny could have actually been brainwashed. Also of note: Smith mentions Earth is in a neighboring solar system...I thought the Jupiter shot right out the other side of the galaxy in WILD ADVENTURE's end? All in all, a good episode but it doesn't say much for women. An improvement over the tepid episodes of the second season with more action to come.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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