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LOST IN SPACE-The Time Merchant, Princess of Space
THE TIME MERCHANT
Writer: Bob and Wanda Duncan
Dir: Ezra Stone
Drillsite on a planet of desert and rock: a cosmic squall rises north by northwest, radiation levels increasing, gale force winds expected. Smith goes from the Chariot and John and Robot outside to the interior of a cave where Will works on a device to catch cosmic particles between two poles if he can slow them down. Will doesn't hear Smith at first but Smith taps him, "William...will...iam." Will explains his experiment to him. Cosmic lightning hits. Will says optimistically, "Well, here it is now." Suddenly a man in a strange outfit and hat appears with a scythe like staff, both hands caught on each metal pole, stuck. He threatens to reverse their time tapes. Smith tells the man, a Dr. Chronos, that it was not "we" as Will said that trapped him but "he"--Will alone. He also adds that it is just a boyish prank. Will tells the man he will release him. Smith tells Will not to turn him loose just yet just to turn the power down a little. Will does this and one hand comes free. Chronos deduces from this that it was no accident. He asks about a ransom to which Smith takes umbrage. This alien can reduce their time spans. Smith tells Will they have "a creature who can control time." Smith wonders quietly to Will what this being can "payyyy." Will wants to go outside to get Dad and the Robot. Chronos advises Will to stay in the cave---outside everything timewise is out of control. John and the Robot are moving backwards; John goes up a rock instead of jumping off it as he did a few minutes ago. The time tapes in his factory are running amuck, backward, sideways, upsidedown. Will turns him loose, ignoring Smith's financial arrangement deal which is not yet made. Chronos uses his scythe to control Will who protested, "I'm not going anywhere with you." Chronos tells him there are no child labor laws in his factory--Will caused him to lose valuable time. He controls Will and goes back to the poles. He taps his scythe and he and Will vanish. Smith gasps, "William!!!"
Time starts to run normal again after a bit of glowing strangeness and moving backward. Robot reports on a five kilometer squall line. John comes into the cave. Smith explains what happened and Robot arrives, telling them there is an extra dimensional forcefield present. Smith thinks about Chronos and how he could have been Smith the Immortal. John says, "I oughta ring your neck." Robot tells him the hole is beginning to close. John will go after Will and will take the Robot with him. Robot offers John to take Dr. Smith with him. John says, "Now, don't you start!" John tells Smith to go back to camp and alert the others. John goes. Smith ponders being immortal, kept in his present state of perfection. Robot makes a comment and Smith tells him, "Hold your tongue and go!" Robot goes. Smith is afraid of the lightning, "Good heavens, I'm alone and I'm frightened. Wait for me!" He puts his fingers on the poles one at a time and vanishes.
He appears in a dark place with melted clocks on trees and machines. Trees are in the background (the Anti Matter World set from THE ANTI MATTER MAN). A red faced monster hides behind a clock device and has a laser rifle. We hear the monster blob music from DERELICT. Smith runs to rows of computer tapes to John and Robot. Robot yells, "Warning! Warning!" The monster in strange garb comes. John orders Robot to hold his fire. Smith directs John to Dr. Chronos and as John approaches and talks to the alien, Smith plays with a small one man cage device. John says, "Now I don't want to use violence but I will if I have to." Chronos points his attention to a small tv monitor. Will watches also and asks what is happening there. It is a small planet in the Omega constellation--fine people, Chronos tells them but shameful time wasters. They have used it all up. This is the only part of his job he doesn't enjoy----he hits a button and the planet blows up completely even though John tried to stop him! John yells, "You've just destroyed an entire civilization. Don't you feel any remorse for that?"
Chronos explains, "Everybody has a time tape but if they run hither and dither, never slowing, they use up their time faster. I always do what I have to do and I never, never let sentimentality interfere with business." Smith asks if he can be returned to Earth using this Company Transporter Box. He can but Chronos is not a Tourist Agent. Smith says, "Return to Earth, oh joy, oh bliss." Chronos can also make Smith young again. John warns Smith that they are not making any deals with Chronos. Chronos tells John that is Smith's prerogative. He has a pen on his tunic and tells Smith that he can give Smith a demonstration free of charge. Smith tells Chronos, who fills out a paper, that he is 26. Chronos looks at him, "That will be verified." They will find his tape and go to a place at random.
They look on a screen. The Jupiter II is in space. Maureen and Don are in their silver space suits in the control room. Robot and Smith arrive as replacements for them. Smith argues that they need rest. Maureen says, "For once, I agree with him." Don tells them he will give it a try. He tells Smith that they will have to do lab checks on the transistor circuits before they can trust their scanner anyway. Don tells him he will back in five minutes and to hold the course at 270 to avoid the meteor showers. Maureen gets up from the chair, "There you are, allright it's all set." Smith says, "Never fear, Smith is here." Don knows this is a mistake. He and Maureen go. Smith tampers and the ship is already two astral degrees off course already. Smith wants to head them back toward Earth. Robot says, "But we do not know where Earth is!" Smith claims he does. He goes left and hits the ship into the meteor showers. Don comes, shaking. "Move aside Smith!" Smith falls, "I can't! We'll all be killed!"
Smith tells Chronos he's had enough. He asks about October 16th, 1997 in the evening about eight o'clock. Will is nearby. John tries to take a wrench to the clock. Chronos tells him, "Why in the flick of an eyelid I could make you an old man or a crying, crawling little baby!" Smith sneaks off and the screen goes all crinkly and static. When people like on Earth are always putting things off until they have no time and then...they come to Chronos, he says. Smith uses the cage device to vanish in a blast of smoke and puffing smoke at that. An alarm goes off and the place shakes. A cuckoo clock red bird pops out. Chronos yells he should have snipped Smith's tape the moment he laid eyes on him. He's sent himself back through time, "My time!" He claims John will pay Smith's account as well as his own. John asks, "Oh?" Chronos says yes, "I am going to take every bit of time you have left---do you hear me--every little bit of tick tock you have left!"
Robot offers his own time but Chronos tells him he has no time as such, he is a machine. Robot is timeless. He does order Robot to a crank device like an old fashioned by hand sewing machine. John asks why Robot should and Chronos tells him if he doesn't---everything will fly to pieces. He offers a truce which John is skeptical of. It is an emergency and Chronos tells him he will desist in any moves against them if they will against him. John tells Robot to do it. Chronos calls Will, "Here boy." He tells him to keep the treadmill running. The time tracks have shifted to meet any possibility. If Smith doesn't do exactly the same thing he did before, he could change everything. Chronos says, "I should have known better than to trust anybody from Earth." On the monochromatic scrambler is the basic past and on the oval screen is the reconstituted past live and as it happens in poly color. On the rectangular screen we see Will in the past on the chair that electrifies. He passes the test. Smith, in his colonel outfit jumpsuit says, "You'll do." Will stops running on the treadmill, "I remember that." Will in the past says, "Did you hear that, mom, I'm okay?" Robot asks, "Dr. Smith, back on Earth in 1997?" They look at the oval screen and see Smith appear (and for once there is no sound effect). Smith hears the voice announce Alpha Control zero minus one hour and 14 minutes and holding. Smith is on his knees, "Earth sweet Earth, dear wonderful place!" Smith is in his uniform one piece jumpsuit again. General Squires comes into the office. He told him 15 minutes ago to get that Robot uncrated. Smith order the Sergeant to do it. They open the crate, a wooden one! Robot says, "Affirm--ative." Smith talks to it, telling him things were delightful before he became so insolent. Smith tells him he is fit as a fiddle. Squires (Billy?) tells Smith that his efficiency is not what it should be. The Colonel goes and Smith says, "Such presumption." The Sergeant mentions a congressional hearing but Smith tells him about the trip, "I happen to have some Tic Toc inside information." They take the Robot out. Smith hits the antenna-TV so it will work. It is black and white. The monitors do a sweep of the Jupiter II launch pad and hydraulic unit 1-6-3 is to report to the Control. There is a beep and the Sergeant comes in. Smith orders a sandwich, a steak sandwich, thin and rare, stuff baked potato, salad with rope for dressing, a desert--chocolate egg claires with three scoops of ice cream, pickled herring. Robot tells Chronos that pickled herring always gives Smith indigestion. John tells Will that if Smith doesn't go aboard the Jupiter II, "...we may wind up at Alpha Centurai." Chronos tells them that the ship will be hit by an uncharted asteroid and all will cease to exist on board it. Chronos adds, "Isn't it obvious, he (Smith) always gets what he wants?" He holds his staff up at them. John tells him, "So this is how you honor your truces." Chronos tells him that no one is going to complain to the Intergalactic Better Business Bureau. He gets scissors. John begs Chronos as the time merchant takes Will. His tape will be added to someone's else's life span so it will not be a complete loss. John calls him mad. He tries to throw the wrench but the monster guard uses the gun to blow the wrench up. He also blows the Robot out as Chronos's whistle order. Will goes into a trance and gets on a pedestal, a cage appears. John grabs Chronos's arm, begging him to take him instead of Will. Chronos tells him, "Never settle for one when you can have two." He starts to cut the tape which is on the cage overhead the door.
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John argues with Chronos for him not to cut the tape. He will agree to giving Chronos years. If Smith makes it to the ship, they will all have time to spare. John makes a deal with him--3 years of his life. They talk about sending the Robot to convince Smith to get on the Jupiter II, "If anyone can get Smith to get on that ship, he can." Chronos figures the cost--duplicates the dividend, etc. He makes a bargain. 5 years they argue out. John takes the pen from Chronos's suit and looks at it, scowling, playing with it a bit. He signs. The monster makes the cage vanish by waving his hand over the crystal device. Will is not happy, "Dad! Five years!" All their lives depend on this. Chronos finds 21 jewels on the Robot and makes him come alive, "That was a low blow." Will explains, "You're going back to Earth, Robot, you gotto get Dr. Smith on board the ship before lift off." Robot cries that he was in the ready room. They realize they will be separated in time and may never see each other again. Will won't let him go but Robot must. He has a handkerchief. Will tells him not to cry or he will rust his titanium stainless steel alloy with genuine chrome plates. Robot and John say goodbye to each other. John says, "We won't forget you, Robot." Robot is sent but his tapes are erased in the time trip. John thinks it was the power flux. Will will go and fix him but with the flux, Chronos tells him the power will bounce him right back here in 30 electro counters--that is 2 minutes Earth time. Chronos barters that he cannot do it. John points at him, "You're wasting time!" Chronos explains to Will, gives him a sand clock timer and sends him, "Stand by for operation bounce back." Will appears in the hallway near Robot who can only say, "That does not compute," and "Doc---Tor Smith." Will can't get him to remember so says farewell knowing the Robot is not programmed for emotions yet, "I love you, Robot---I want you to know that." Robot says, "Love? Will Robinson, it does not compute."
Smith is in his office, watching the TV and sees the astronauts entering tubes. He sees Will with John. Penny Robinson is called to enter freezing tube. "They never wanted me along anyway--they were always threatening to leave me somewhere. They'll be much better this way." Smith is scared as the Robot enters the room. Smith calls him a bubble headed booby and tells him to never do that again to him. Smith thinks his faulty connections have finally made sense. Smith will program him for a job---one of them will have to find employment. Robot recalls, "You called me a bubble headed booby." It is imperative that he get Smith on the ship. Smith gets up, "Wild horses couldn't drag me aboard that ship!" Robot continues to try, Smith places himself with the table between him and Robot, "You'll never take me alive!" Robot answers, "You're condition is unimportant." Smith points at him, "My condition is my own mission!" The General comes in and tells him about reports that this mission has had threats against it. Smith tells him it is him, confessing. He tells the General to arrest him, save him from the Robot--it is persecuting him. Robot remains quiet. General orders the Sergeant (Rogers) to put Smith under arrest. The Corporal is told. Smith calls Robot a Rusty Rasputin, "If I ever see you again, it'll be much too soon." Smith offers Rogers his dessert, making the man sick. The General and he discuss how sometimes a man just cracks up. Sergeant is to get a wench to get the Robot down to Green Room 7. Rogers calls and tells the person on the other end, "Not that kind of a wench, a winch winch! On the double!" Chronos has his scissors, "You gambled and you lost---now it is time to PAY THE PIPER!!!"
John argues that they have until the Jupiter II takes off. Robot punches the Sergeant down. Will watches, "What a right hook!" It is 0 minus 6 minutes and counting. Robot tells Smith to come with him. Smith won't. Robot tries to appeal to his better instincts if he has them. Smith tells him, "Now they will be able to go to Alpha Centauri." Robot tells him that in four months the ship will be destroyed by an uncharted asteroid---Dr. Chronos figured this. Smith tells him he owes it to himself to stay here. Robot tells him that his own feelings are greater than his programming--he must go and share the fate of his friends. Smith, sitting all this time, gets up and puts his food aside, "Wait! Please don't go--stay with me here, start a new life." Robot tells him, "The price is too high." Smith says, "I wish I could be as honorable as you but I am a weak man, full of frailty. I sometimes wish that I could be different but I cannot seem to manage it. Forgive me, dear friend." Robot says, "I forgive you." Robot must go, "I may have trouble getting on board as it is." He calls the Capt of the Guard and the Corporal comes in. Robot punches him down. Robot leaves, "Farewell."
Smith closes the door, telling Robot, "Farewell." Smith says, "Oh good heavens," thinking they will think he did this--punching the two soldiers--a capital offense. The TV shows the freezing tubes activate and the glow comes over the entire family. Smith watches, leaning against the back of the chair with his hands, standing behind it. "Penny. Judy," he cries, "My dear William. No!" He yells, "I can't do it! I can't!" Smith runs out, "Booby, wait for me! Wait for me!"
John whispers to Will that even if Smith makes it, he doesn't trust Chronos to keep his word so the minute the ship lifts off, John wants Will to distract Chronos.
The Sergeant gets up and sounds a red alert, Code 58 and Security 9-10. "Stop that Robot, he's dangerous!" We hear the TIME TUNNEL alarm sound effect. The Sergeant looks at the fallen Corporal, "On your feet Corporal!" At Gate 3, the Robot and Smith hide and hear the General. They must get to the Launch Pad Gantry Elevator. The Sergeant and Corporal pass by as they hide under clothes on a rack. Smith calls the Robot a book making bookie as he computes the odds against them. Smith has a plan. He gets into a janitor's outfit and the Robot is in custodian clothing too with a hat on and broom. The Corporal will get the hound dogs from the County Sheriff. The Sergeant shines his flashlight, "Who Goes There?!" He finds Smith who tries to outrank him, "How dare you detain me, Sergeant!" Robot rises out of a crate of garbage and hits the Sergeant down. Smith makes the Robot get him out of the way. Smith runs and Robot follows after putting the man in the garbage chute dumpster can. The countdown is at 30 seconds. Smith calls the Robot a doddering dunderhead and gets his foot stuck in the closing doorway hatch. Robot tells him, "I will be incinerated. You will just look silly hanging by your toes in space." Robot tells him to push the emergency button. It opens and as the countdown reaches 10-9-8 they rush in as Smith babbles that all is lost. The door shuts and the ship blasts off, making the Sergeant duck back down in a garbage can.
Chronos rips up the contract he made with John. He wants more. Will hits a control with his fist and ducks under the table as the monster is ordered to stop him. John gets Chronos's scythe and makes the monster throw the weapon down. John tells Chronos he is going to make restitution by bringing back Smith and the Robot. This explodes the machine as Chronos's predicted, "I'm out of business, I'm going, I'm going, I'm gone." Robot appears first and tells Will, "I do not enjoy time travel especially in economy class." There is a chain reaction that will destroy the machine. John tells Chronos before he gets Smith back he will send his son and the Robot to safety. Chronos asks, "How can you be sentimental at a time like this?" Will can do it and does.
Back on the planet, lightning still rips. The two appear in the cave. Will wants to go to the Chariot. Robot tells Will it will be safer here, behind some rocks when Dr. Chronos's lab explodes. Huh? Why?
A fire is behind Chronos in the lab planetary set. John tells him once he locates Smith he will take it from there. He finds Smith on a screen---we see Smith floating in space from WILD ADVENTURE when the green girl took him outside, lured him out. Chronos tells John he has to adjust the focus but hits John and they fight with the scythe, over controls they push each other, blasting them. The scythe falls down. John punches the monster and hits Chronos over a table. Chronos jumps him and they roll on the ground. John runs after the monster with the scythe and throws it at him. It hits the monster's neck and downs him, blowing sparks on him first!
John activates the cage machine and Smith appears. NOTE: A very bad stand in appears with a Smith mask on (the mask from SPACE DESTRUCTORS) as the smoke blows on him. NOTE: I guess Harris didn't want the smoke blowing on him. "Save me, don't let him get me!" This came from somewhere along their 2 and three fourths years journey. John answers, tired, "I'll listen to your complaints later!" He tells Chronos if he has any sense, he will leave too. Chronos says, "The intrepid Chronos runs from no disaster!" John and Smith go to the cave via the transmat cage. "Take cover, c'mon!" The cave shakes as they get down behind rocks. The lab blows apart, clock stands fall on fire. Smith and John find Will and the Robot when it is over. Smith scolds Robot on his behavior in the examining room, wanting to talk to him about his manners. Robot questions Smith's ability as a doctor. Smith says, "Be gone booby!" Smith and Robot go out of the cave. Will asks, "Isn't it a blessing to have things back to normal, Dad?" John says, "A mixed blessing, son, a real mixed blessing!" They leave, too.
SHIP CRASHING MUSIC--FROM ISLAND IN THE SKY--WITH NEW HIPPIE DANCE MUSIC BY PETE RUGOLO-Jupiter II tilts in a psychedelic funnel like object of differing colors. Will points, "Look!"
NARRATOR: "Next week, the LOST IN SPACE family is plunged into a strange galactic world of psychedelic danger!"
Penny and Will go into a room of changing lights. Will pulls Penny as she dances, "Don't, don't. Fight it. You've gotto resist it." Penny dances with alien girls on a stage. John bangs on a locked door, "Penny! Penny!" Smith is in a wig of long hair and ducks as things explode. An alien with green face and antennas grabs Smith around the mouth and has a stick, "Try that again, they'll be no Smith." Penny tells John, "So why don't you just go back with the rest of the oldsters and leave us to do our thing---you don't belong here." John looks at her, "You're right." John and Don through wild lights, run to Penny and Will who are on operating tables.
"Next week, PROMISED PLANET on LOST IN SPACE right here on this channel!"
PRINCESS OF SPACE
Writer: Jackson Gillis
Dir: Don Richardson
Space station: Captain Kraspo hears a noise and wakes up, calls for Fedor, a man with George Washington type hair and glasses. "You rang for me, sir," Fedor asks. Fedor warns the crew are close to mutiny--they want to go back to Beta 3. They were en route home after five years but have no prize to show for their five years. The Ship shake as Kraspo yells at the crew through a megaphone. The autopilot cannot run the ship without him. The crew is mechanical and come to the door. Kraspo takes an electronic spear and makes them go back, threatening to reduce them to tape but this only works on humans, Fedor explains. The telescope rings chimes. For five years they stayed in orbit around Earth, it never rang. There might be Earth people at the planet they just passed. Kraspo orders full speed astern at the planet. Kraspo will not give up.
The usual rocky planet set: John and Maureen walk out of the ship to Penny; John has to get her attention away from one of her children's book-a fairy tale. Will comes, flipping rocks. John tells Penny, "I want you and Will to run down to the spring and tell Dr. Smith and the Robot they can stop counting insects for the rest of the afternoon." John and Maureen...
HOLD IT! Does anyone know what the hell they are all talking about? Flipping rocks? Counting insects?
John and Maureen are going to go starsighting. Penny leaves, "Have fun, Mom." Will goes with her and her book. Maureen smiles, "Imagine going to look at stars with your own husband." John says, "Yes, imagine." Penny asks Will if he ever imagines he's someone else and Will sarcastically tells her he is the President of the US. He wants to race her on one foot to a rock over there but she wants to tell him about her dream last night--that she was a princess and lived in a palace. Will scoffs so she tells him he has no imagination. Will goes off on his own. Slippers come flying down and pop in appear on a rock. Penny looks up in the sky and then examines the shoes, "If the shoe fits..." A carpet appears and unrolls. She hears Kraspo's voice yell, ordering her to try on the slippers. Penny screams and runs. Will hears her, "Penny!" He goes running back to the area, trips ,and falls onto the carpet. The carpet rolls him up and he and the slippers are blasted away from the planet!
Spacestation: the cargo is brought aboard, "Easy alongside," Kraspo yells at the crew bring it to the station in space--a human in it. They secure the airlocks. Will in the carpet appear on the cushion near a transporter device and on the platform. There are lights and curtains. Fedor opens a room. Kraspo comes up a ladder and then climbs down, going to the platform with Fedor. They unwrap Will who tells Kraspo not to harm Fedor for getting a boy. They tell Will they are from Beta and looking for a princess named Alpha. There was in the past of their planet, a revolution by machines. An alien nurse from Beta escaped with the princess who was a baby at the time. They think she might have switched babies at a hospital on Earth but no one knows for sure. Will starts to say, "You know that's just like the dream that my sister..." He stops and tries to lie, unsuccessfully. He smiles and drops his hands. They ask about girls on the planet, "Uh, I don't notice girls." The princess would be about 13 years old now. They pull Will to a door which Kraspo makes Fedor open and all three go to a corner of the room. Musical cue of comedy hits us. They go up to a computer which calls Will a liar visually. Kraspo takes his sword out and moves it at Will, ready to butcher him and he says so. Will back up to the ladder platform with the sword at his stomach. Fedor stops Kraspo, who will go ashore. Will touches a computer and gets a shock from it. There are those on Beta who think the machines are getting out of hand again. The computer makes papers come out of it, needing a gallon of oil. Penny returns to the spot with the Robot and Dr. Smith. Smith calls her story a charming fantasy and wants to get on with his day--eating and then having a nice, little nap. Smith finds Penny's fairy tale book and chides her softly about her belief in castles, kings, and pirates. They hear something land. Smith goes off, "Penny, come along!" Robot computes that Penny is telling the truth. Smith goes to Kraspo while Penny and the Robot hide behind a large, tall rock and listen. Kraspo looks through the tingling telescope but it points at Smith; Kraspo moves around the rock, following the scope and the Robot and Penny. Kraspo cries when he doesn't find anyone but the Robot. Penny was infront of the Robot but hid. Now she comes out and tells him not to cry. Kraspo sees her and makes Penny, the Robot, and Smith vanish in a blast. Smith wakes up on the cushion and asks where Penny is. Robot is on his side. Penny was sent up ahead of them. Will is doing chores on the ship, "Dr. Smith please help me!" Kraspo has removed the Robot's power pack and pulls his sword out as Smith tries to con him. Smith runs down the ladder platform but Kraspo chases him, much to Will's concern that he will kill him! Fedor tries to stop Will but Will jumps down. In a room, Kraspo uses his sword to pick up a long tape of film, telling Will that is Dr. Smith now! Will doesn't believe him at first so Kraspo tells him not to throw it out with the trash; leaving laughing. Will calls him, "Captain Kraspo!" Will looks at the tape and holds it up to the lights.
Will shows Fedor the tape and Fedor tells Will it is true and in a long time from now they will get even and turn Smith back. If one transmits the tape, they can construct Smith at the other end of the transfer devices. Will wants Fedor to do it but Fedor tells him, "Captain Kraspo would slice us both up." Will asks Fedor for help. Will straightens the tape out. Kraspo and Fedor talk to Penny as a TV camera pops up from behind the computer consoles, watching her. Kraspo tries to keep it a secret from her that the camera is on her. It is Cosmic Camera, a TV show back to Beta and the Royal Palace. Kraspo calls himself a sea captain! Penny won't sit down as he requests but then does. She find the couch she sat on a bit bumpy. Kraspo takes a pea out and shows the camera--she is so delicate that she found a pea bumpy. When no one is looking and Penny gets up, away from the camera eye, Kraspo drops out a bowling ball! Penny is not sure what is going on. Kraspo asks if every girl wants to be a princess. Penny is not sure--what about her parents, "What about my own parents?" Kraspo curses at Fedor when he tries to explain calling him something like "Blasted..." or "Bastard" but they reveal only the royal family can wield the royal scepter with any power. The Old Aunt has little power now. She is all that is left of the Royal Family. Fedor goofs with the eye camera device, both hiding from each other. Kraspo reconstructs Dr. Smith, needing him. Smith heard some of the talk and wants to be Chancellor of Royal Prime Ministry. Will tells Smith, "Dr. Smith, you've got to save us! You've got to save Penny!" A computer paper answers Will's questions. Don and Judy return to the Jupiter II. Judy asks Don about Dad. Don tells her he radioed him to come back. Don hears Smith inside the Jupiter, "Oh, it's you, Smith." He has Penny's baby picture at the age of six weeks. Don knows it belongs on Maureen's bureau. Smith tries to explain but Don says, "Smith, you're out of your mind, again, you'd better start explaining..." From behind Kraspo hits Don over the back and he falls. He grabs Judy around the mouth and holds her, asking her if she is a good hair dresser. Judy asks, "What? Dr. Smith!" Kraspo hands Judy to Smith and tells him to get her to the long boat. Smith pulls her off. Don gets up and attacks Kraspo but Kraspo reduces him to tape with his sword, "Easy there, matey." On the space station, Kraspo tells Penny the tape is Major West and "I have your sister here, somewhere." He can't find her but Smith helps him find it. Kraspo tells Penny they don't have time for games---she better decide fast or he will burn Don's tape. Aunt Gamma is coming to inspect the "princess". Penny agrees, "...only please don't burn them!" Penny listens to Fedor's details about the Royal Family. They have three and a half hours to fool everyone. Penny cries that if they don't they will all probably be beheaded. Smith yells, "Oh Penny, please don't say that!" He pulls her up, vowing to make the dress and to turn her into a princess in that time limit. Smith has the Robot trying on a dress he is making. It is blue silk. Smith teaches Penny how to walk with a pillow on her head and he falls into a ship turnstile horn. Fedor brings "her highness" in and shows her how to walk when she greets Aunt Gamma, showing her what will happen. Will scrubs the floor with Kraspo shouting at him over the intercom, one spot and he will get 40, no 50 lashes. Judy does Penny's nails and hair as Fedor sits on the other side, telling Penny more about the Royal Family--an Archduke married Aunt Iota, Campa, Sylvia; Penny has curlers on. There was a Baron and Baroness Gruowsky and a Summer Palace of their's on her mom's side twice removed. Judy asks Penny how she can go along with all this nonsense. Robot is sewing, "A robot's work is never done." Smith tries teaching Penny diction and elocution on the couch. The Beat In Beta Boil Better On the Burner. They say it over and over and over until Penny breaks down, "Oh, I can't! I can't do it! Oh, I'm sorry Captain Kraspo!" Over the couch, Kraspo unrolls Don's tape. Crying, Penny starts up again with Smith, saying the Beets nonsense.
They get a Royal Radio Signal and play Royal Music. Gamma arrives. Kraspo arrives to her and tells her the Princess will be along. Kraspo calls Fedor bastard or something like that. Will tells them Penny is not ready yet and will be late, "That's nothing unusual for her." Smith hushes William and introduces himself--her highness's long time protector and guardian, calling it all a mystery. Smith bumps into Gamma with his sash on. Judy comes into the room and then Penny, wearing a crown. Will says, "Wow, is that really you Penny?" Smith says, "Hush William!" Smith cries. Smith goes on and on so Gamma kicks him out (HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE chime music) and tells everyone else to get out also. Penny sticks up for Dr. Smith, telling Gammy that he didn't mean any harm. Penny tries to be nice for her. She has ear rings and curls. All Gamma's dear sister's children look like her and Penny looks and sounds right. Gamma tells her to stop trying, knowing this is not her. All her life she has been searching for her niece Alpha who was supposed to be on Earth hidden. The nurse's last message gave a garbled message--K12B6, the last they heard of the nurse and the baby. The real princess is not afraid of the machines. In the scepter there is real magic and it will work only in the hands of the real princess. Gamma can only materialize it--the extent of powers now. The people on Beta believe in magic she tells a skeptical Penny, "If people don't believe in magic, they'll turn into machines themselves." Penny shows her a paper roll Fedor gave her. Gamma blames Kraspo for lying. Gamma will have him boiled in oil and asks if Penny is her niece or not. Penny says, "Oh, I dunno!" She cries, "Oh! I hate myself!" Gamma tells her that is just the right answer and calls her Alpha dear. Gamma knows it is Alpha and explains, "I'm never wrong about anything." She kisses Penny's head. Gamma calls Kraspo and tells him to put himself in the Brig. Fedor, ship's steward 14th class is made the new captain. He demands the tape from Kraspo and Kraspo agrees. Will sticks up for Penny, thinking Gamma didn't believe her, "Now look your majesty...if you think you're going to do anything to my sister..." Gamma silences him but Penny shocks him by saying she guesses she isn't really his sister! But she loves him just as much as she always did. Gamma tells them that she loves all of them. Smith declares a holiday, "Long live Princess Alpha!" Gamma dismisses Smith, calling him a dreadful man to Penny, "We'll have to dispose of him." But now is a time for happy thoughts she bellows! Will goes down to Fedor and tells him that arresting Kraspo didn't help. Fedor leaves Will alone. Will goes into one of the ship horns and slips down it or up it. He hits a button and finds himself in a room with Fedor and machines--the crew. He overhears Fedor's real plot: to steal the scepter from the stupid little girl the moment that foolish old woman gives it to her. Beta will be their's. Fedor's mother, a machine with ticker tape and reel to reels, comes and gives him his captain's coat. Fedor opens his shirt and Will sees spiraling reels and machinery! "We'll show them, won't we!"
Will goes to Kraspo's cage room and tries to explain to Kraspo (who is in the room but inside a bar cage in the room!) about what he just saw. Kraspo is bitter and won't listen really. Fedor overhears Will tell Kraspo and shuts the door on them locking it. Kraspo is in a separate bar cage. Will calls out, "Captain Fedor!" Kraspo laughs at that and at all the others. He should have keelhauled them all. Kraspo calls them all pipsqueaks. "Royal Aunt, Princess Phoney, yeah and all you Robinsons, too! Pipsqueaks every last one of ya!" Will sneers at him, calling him a dirty rotten quitter who gives up, "But I'll never give up! I HATE YOU!" Will tries to open the main door but Kraspo comes round, asking about the machines. Will turns, sheepishly, "Fedor is one." Kraspo orders him to get him out of this blasted cage. "Yes sir," Will starts to hit the cage door. Judy watches Fedor reconstruct Don. Gamma tells Don, "The Robinsons remaining daughter will explain it all to you." Smith tells him it is for everyone's own good. Don says, "Whatever's good for you, Smith must mean trouble for everyone else." Smith tells him, "Spare me the insults!" Gamma hopes Don will not be difficult. She is glad those awful computers are below deck. Gamma tells Don, "You'll see we're all going to live happily ever after." Will uses his shoe to hit the cage door and opens Kraspo's lock. They both hit the main door. Kraspo gives Will his telescope to hit the door, "It's what started this whole mess. My pathfinder--it's a worthless hunk of junk." They hear coronation music. Will stops, "Penny!" They both hit the door. Fedor has the machines hidden behind the curtains and keeps telling them shh and soon, soon. Smith dusts (Smith music from THERE WERE GIANTS IN THE EARTH) and this annoys Gamma, who sneezes. Fedor sneezes. Smith dusts the Robot who plays drums. Smith goes on about how nice this is. Don says, "Smith, why don't you keep quiet." Don says to Judy, "As soon as this nonsense is over, I'll find a way to get us out of this." Penny comes in wearing a white gown and sits on the throne. Gamma commands the royal scepter to appear and gives it to Penny just as Will and Kraspo come up, warning everyone...or trying to. Don gets Penny off the throne as Kraspo warns that he has a real cutlass and anyone that moves will get atomized or reduced to tape. Kraspo also tells Gamma to shut up. Will has an idea as to why the telescope keeps pointing at the Robot, even now. Kraspo won't listen--the thing did that before. Before Will has a chance to explain further, Fedor yells, "Attack! Up the machines, down the people!" The large box like rectangular shapes with bubbles on top for heads, come reeling out, arms dangling. Smith leans back and his hand hits some buttons which blasts a blast up and this sets the ship out of control. Everyone shakes and avoids blasts and the robot monsters. All go to a door, following Don, who is pulling Penny. Penny waves the scepter, "Oh, go away! I'm just a person! Don, do something!" Don opens the door and herds Will, Smith, Gamma, Judy and Penny inside, telling Robot to guard the door. He then tries to get a hang of this antiquated equipment to gain control the shaking ship. Gamma tells him to hurry, Major, since they are going to crash. Fedor and Kraspo fight as the ship shakes. Don gets the ship under control. Robot machines flank the Robot on both sides and he warns them to keep back, calling them little punks. Will goes to Don, "Wait, Don, I've got an idea." Don tells him to make it fast. He thinks the nurse who hid the baby princess reduced the baby to tape, "Now where would be the perfect place to hide the tape?" Don gets it and asks him for the coordinates, K21B6. Don runs out and fights off machines by the Robot, telling him the Princess is K21B6 and to materialize her at once. Robot moves off to do so, warning the crew off. Don fights a machine outside the door. Robot gets past the machines and to the device. Fedor tells his machines to stop the Robot. Robot materializes the real Princess who has blond hair and looks like Penny. The machines stop their revolt. Penny gives her the scepter and Kraspo tells Alpha to point it at Fedor. She does and this reduces him to a computer card. At the Jupiter II, Penny shows John and Maureen the computer card. Fedor can be reconstituted into a useful machine. Maureen says, "Well, it all sounds quite incredible." They go off, Penny telling them they still have time to meet them all. Penny leads her parents off, leaving Will, Smith and the Robot. Smith complains that here, within their illustrious friend the Robot, is a real treasure, secret codes and "glorious mysteries that lurk inside our illustrious friend." Will shrugs, "You know, I never thought he had it in him." He walks off after Penny and the parents. Smith asks if the Robot does. Robot starts to go on about the Beets in the Butter. Smith messes it up, trying to tell him the right way to say it. Goofy new music from A DAY AT THE ZOO.
EARTHQUAKE MUSIC FROM HUNGRY SEA TEASER
Don yells, "Move aside Smith, let go!" Smith yells, "I can't! We're all going to be killed!" Chronos appears in Will's metallic lightning rods, "How dare you trap me!" Chronos has Will under his power.
NARRATOR: Next week, Will and Dr. Smith accidentally capture an evil space Time Merchant!"
Smith says, "Please, don't harm him!" Chronos and Will go to the metallic rods and vanish. Smith gasps, "William!" John watches as on a screen Chronos has a planet blown up, "You've just destroyed an entire civilization, don't you feel any remorse for that?" Chronos has a cage appear around Will and he is going to cut a tape around it. John pulls on the alien monster holding him at bay and yells, "No, no, let him go. Take me but let him go." John fights the monster and Chronos. He throws the monster.
"Next week, THE TIME MERCHANT on LOST IN SPACE right here on this channel!"