LOST IN SPACE-Junkyard of Space, promos

Chase - Posted on 08 November 2009


Writer: Barney Slater

Dir: Ezra Stone

Music: MULLENDORE (a beautiful score!)



The Spaceship Jupiter II flies through the outer space of the heavens. Smith is dictating his memoirs OUTER SPACE AND I. Robot writes. Smith hands the Robot a feather pen and tells him to mind his manners or he will lose his friends, calling him ninny, too, "Mind your manners or you'll lose your friends, ninny."  They are below deck with Will in a cabin. An alarm heralds a blast and a fire follows. Fire is in the port fuel cells. Will puts a fire out with an extinguisher; Smith warns to put it out before it spreads to the reactors. Don calls Smith, "Smith, get up here and I mean now!" Will continues to fire the extinguisher, "Dr. Smith, you'd better get up there, there must be something wrong!" Smith must stop his writing to help "my dreary fellow man." He takes the door hallway up to the control room where he, John, and Don draw straws to see who will fly the Space Pod through a cosmic cloud to investigate a possible landing on a planet past it. They must land since the spare reactors won't take their continuing and if they try to continue they risk blowing up the ship. The Space Pod can go through the cloud as a test probe without risking the lives of all aboard the ship. Smith picks the shortest straw. The fire has knocked out all long range sensing equipment. Smith suggests sending the Robot but John tells him that the job might call for some unusual reflexes that the Robot has not been programmed for. Smith gives Robot the feather of the coward and calls him coward and tells him he is used to soft living. Robot says, "Cruelty, cruelty, they name is Smith."  John tells Smith to be ready in five minutes. Smith says, "Doomed, I'm doomed."   Later, Smith is in his spacesuit but before he can leave, John tells him the cloud is probably harmless. Don tells him, "Try to act like a man."  Smith tells John, "Give the others my love."   Before Smith can leave, the Space Pod launches. Smith and Don look up. Robot is in the Space Pod with a white gown on. Huh? They hear the Robot's voice. Smith says, "It's a trick! I'm sure--an alien trick!"   Will thinks it might be---he just saw the Robot below deck a few minutes ago. When they verify it is the Robot, Will tells Smith, "The Robot's just about the best friend anyone could ever have."   Smith adds, "He's true blue, all the way through."   Robot lands, reporting as he does, passing the cloud. Then he yells, "They have me! They have me! This is the end!"  He ends up in a graveyard like place with lots of old beaten up machines...on a giant magnet upsidedown, his tread section stuck to the magnet and spinning, the gown hanging down from around his neck!





Jupiter II is going down toward the planet from space. Smith is arguing as they prepare for a hard landing due to the magnetic pull of the planet. John goes to the power core to check the fuel tank, "If it goes we're all done for."  He leaves. Smith tries to go to tend to the children but Don asks him to go out with him. Will asks Don to go also. The trio head out the door which slides open. Will says, "Wrecked machines, thousands of them."   Smith looks around nervously, "If they're activated and repaired, each of them is capable of destroying us."  Will goes to the Space Pod which is nearby. Smith warns about a trick. The machines seem to be just empty parts. Will says, "It's like a...a giant junkyard."  As the three explore, a strange junkman turns around from a pile of junk and watches them. It is dark and night. Don, Will, and Smith hear the Robot moaning. They move on. A machine snaps shut from the wind. Smith pulls Will to him. They find the Robot hanging from the giant electro magnet. There is a giant wall panel nearby with lots of switches. They conjecture but Don warns, "Well, let's not touch anything until we're sure what each one does." Smith hits a switch, Don yells, "Smith!"  Robot falls. He has a tingling in his rotors and calls them, "My dear friends."  He knew they would come for him. Smith tells him, "You owe all of us a debt of gratitude."  Don says, "Shut up Smith."  There seem to be no signs of alien life. They hear a falling piece of burning metal. Smith thinks they could all be killed in their tracks, "I suggest we return to the..."  Another piece comes falling. Don says, "Get moving!"  Another one blasts down, hitting already fallen metal. Don says, "We'd better get back to the spaceship."  They hide behind the panel but then leave to the ship. Don goes inside, to "check" it. Huh? Smith says there is a limit to how much one can endure. Junkman scares Smith, bouncing, flashing bulbs. Will says, "I think it's alive. I'm Will Robinson from the planet Earth."  The junkman examines the Jupiter II, asking if it is junk. Everything dropped here must be melted down in his blast furnace, the ship included. All space junk falls onto this planet and then, "I melt it down and I keep on stockpiling it."  He is trying to make improvements on himself. He asks if they will sell him the spaceship. Will says, "No thank you, Mister Junkman."  The alien pops and more blasts come from him and he blasts off, away.


More junk falls and shakes the Jupiter II. Judy, Penny and the Robot are in the control room. Judy says, "Oh we can't leave this place fast enough for me."  Penny says, "Oh, I can hardly wait. Imagine a whole planet that's nothing but a junkyard."  Don arrives  to the control room. He talks about the fuel tank gauges and valves. He calls John in the power core. They will test fire all banks. They get enough thrust to lift off. Robot tells them, "A magnetic force is holding the spaceship."   Maureen comes in with more trouble---their food supply is ruined...some kind of a rust blight, the hydro ponic garden is ruined and the rust is resistant to cold, "There's not a thing that's edible."   The Junkman appears suddenly on the window sill outside and the girls scream, "You are never going to leave here---nothing ever leaves the Junk Planet!"  


Robot and Will see Smith eating a boot. His boot. Everyone else is out looking for food. Robot tells Smith he should also. Smith asks him to spare him the moronic moralizing. Smith has a candle on a table. Will and Robot leave to find real food; Will telling Smith to enjoy his "meal."  Junkman appears, "Greetings, Earth machine,"  he tells Smith, clanking and shaking, rattling Smith's nerves. Smith tells him he is hungry, "Earthlings cannot eat metal."  If Smith can get the right materials for the Junkman, he might be able to find food for them. He has food stored up from the lockers of the junked space vehicles that have crashed here. He needs a stability unit like the one in the Robot. Junkman tempts Smith with beef stronganov. Tomorrow night they will do business. He vanishes, rattling Smith's tea cup or coffee cup, "Oh joy, oh bliss, oh crepe Suzette." 


Later, Control Room: Smith comes out of the door near the circuitry. Smith is sneaking and cons the Robot who says, "My memory banks are filled with the secret talks we have had in the past--the results were always the same---the truly selfish cowardly Dr. Smith betrayed the sweet, gentle, and  trusting Robot."  Penny is outside the window. Smith cons Robot some more about saving "our" intrepid little band. Junkman has made him an offer. Robot asks, "You want me to give me away?"   Smith goes on, "To save the lives of William and Judy and dear, dear Penny."  Smith cons that he may cry, "The good you do comes back to you." 


Later they all eat. Judy is cleaning up the table and is grateful to Dr. Smith, telling he and Don that she is not sure Will and Penny could have gone another day without food. Don is suspicious, "Well, just the same I'll think I'll check the space ship and if anything's missing..."  Smith complains but Don goes on, "Now look Smith, we appreciate the food but if you're up to your old tricks heaven help you." 


Smith and the Robot go the Junkman Furnace area. Robot tells him his coordinates are not functioning properly. Robot will do this for his family. They arrive at the blast furnace. Junk from the magnet or one of the magnets is put in it. Above is a hill with scrap metal. Smith rings a bell. The Junkman arrives, telling them he was getting worried. He is not jumping and flashing. The part from the robot has stabilized a bit. Robot warns, "Warning! Danger!"   An alien machine is protesting, and moving at them. Junkman tells it--it must accept that all machines end up in the junkyard of space. The eyes on the alien machine shoot at the Robot and knock his upper half over a bit. Junkman throws his staff and demolecularizes it, "A pity. A lot of good metal is lost."   It happens so often---a little mechanical rebellion. Smith asks him about it. Robot tells Smith, "We all end up here eventually."  Junkman needs the ex electronic systems transistors. This was not agreed  upon before but Smith cons the Robot into giving up the transistors. Junkman tells Smith he now realizes there is more to life than this little planet. He talks about Earth. He wants to leave in "their spaceship."  Smith tells him, "You see we are a bit overcrowded on the Jupiter, I'm afraid."   Junkman tells him they can leave together and that Smith doesn't understand what he means, "I plan to take your ship and nothing will stop me!"



In the Control Room, Penny reads a book but the ship shakes as metal falls outside. Judy was sewing. This junk delivery should be over soon. Judy says, "I've never felt so helpless in all my life. Here we are with a spaceship in perfect working condition and we're trapped here."  Don comes out from one of the back sliding doors which opens up. He tells them the ship isn't being held by a magnetic field. It must be one of the machines but there must be thousands of them outside. They talk about the Robot. Smith told Judy and Penny that the Robot is suffering from the effects of being picked up by the magnet. Robot is outside and looking weary. They hope he wasn't hit by metal. Don will break Smith's neck if he forgot and left the Robot outside during the junk delivery. Judy goes to find Smith or get the tool kit while Don and Penny go out to Robot. He didn't have the strength to get inside.


Smith goes to the Junkman who now wears a head cap. Smith didn't recognize him and asks what he did with the Junkman. He redesigned himself to a perfect person. He tells Smith to put the spare diode unit back in their Robot since he won't need it. When Smith insists, Junkman throws it down. Smith says, "For shame, Sir, would you have us starve?"  Before he had no parts, he was content but now he wants a bigger and better junkpile. He can free the spaceship. Smith will inform Major West who Junkman says, "He does not strike me as the most hospitable man in the galaxy."  He wants Smith to get him aboard. Smith asks for food. Smith welcomes him to their "space expedition." 


Don and Judy are in the north quadrant. John tells Penny to stay close to the ship. He takes off on the parajets. Smith goes to the hidden Junkman who climbs out of a device---a computer bank stall with a door. He will hide the Junkman in his quarters until after liftoff. Once inside, the Junkman locks the doors with his staff, locking everyone out. Smith says, "You tricked me!"  Junkman has the Robot's memory banks and recalls many times Smith tricked the Robot. He uses his staff to release the magnetic force, "...and prepare for lift off!" 


John is flying. Judy and Don check another empty shell of a machine. John calls them--he is heading over the East Quadrant. Don and Judy covered North Quadrant. John hears rockets. Judy gasps, "It's our spaceship!"   Don and Judy run to Penny and Will who look up as the Jupiter II lifts off. We pan across everyone's shocked faces as they watch the ship lift off and pull away from the planet. Wind blows their hair.



Jupiter II careens in space. The fuel tank has adjusted to the lift off. Smith tries to get the Junkman to return to the Junk Planet. He calls him a mechanized moron and a ninny. Junkman hits Smith, who tries to order him around, with his staff. Smith falls into the astrogater. Judy and Penny try to dissuade Don from taking the Space Pod up to the Jupiter II. Don thinks the Junkman is in orbit. He lifts off in the Pod. Junkman fires missiles at Don. Missiles or rockets that come out of the nose of the Jupiter II. Smith tries to stop him. Don returns to Ground Control. "Ground Control, this is Major West..." 


Robot tells Will to try to return to his family. Robot says, "Both of us knew we would have to part some day. We were once close. Perhaps we will meet again in the distant future."  Junkman has his sensors, memory banks, and tapes. Will, if he gets them back, can install them in a new Robot. Will tells him not to talk like that. He wouldn't. Robot puts himself on the blast furnace conveyor belt and pulls the lever. Will is crying heavy tears. He goes to Penny. Don and Judy have gone to meet John. Huh? Can't John just fly to them? What?


STOP IT! Why was Penny not close to the ship? Why, oh sod it all.


Will says, "I've just got to get that---that Junkman to come back."  Penny says, "Will don't try to go up there---the Junkman won't let you near the ship--he'll fire the rockets at you."  Will goes into the Pod and lifts off as Penny watches.


Will flies near the ship. Will asks Junkman via radio if he can access the memory banks. "Now, do you remember all the good times we've had and how often you've saved my life?"  Junkman recalls many such times, "I can recall many such incidents."  He lets Will dock. Smith greets Will. Smith says, "All is lost you know. THIS IS INDEED THE END OF EVERYTHING."  Junkman did not let Will dock due to their happy association. He wants Will as a travelling companion--he is preferable to Dr. Smith, "Traveling with him as a companion would be just intolerable."  Smith says, "Indeed sir!"  Junkman puts Smith in the Pod bay and shuts the door. Will sticks up for Smith, "Now wait, Dr. Smith has his faults but...but everyone does. When the chips are really down--he always comes through."  Will will choose to leave with Dr. Smith. Junkman has the Robot's heart but Will tells him he will never be like the Robot even in ten thousand years---he will be lonely and unhappy. The Robot could love and Will tells the Junkman the Junkman can't. "How does one learn to love, William Robinson?"  Will tells him kindness to others, trust, respect and "well, there it is---love."


The Jupiter returns to the planet and the landing legs come down. Smith comes down the ladder to the others, "Oh my dear, dear friends--everything's fine now and it's all William's doing."  Will gasps, he's just remembered the Robot! The Junkman holds his arm, telling him that his sensors tell him it is already too late. Will says, "Don't even say that!"   They run but see only flames. Junkman tells Will, "Perhaps, in time, I will be able to take the Robot's place in your affections."   Robot calls and comes back out on the conveyor belt, very hot and very scorched. Robot tried to melt himself down but something happened----the heat of the flames wouldn't consume him. The Junkman explains---"It was love that consumed him before the flames could."   Junkman is sure Will's family is ready to take off. They go to rejoin the others. Robot remains behind a bit. Arriving, Smith tries to pull diamonds from the blocks. Robot's locomotion control is stuck. Smith tries to fool with the magnet and falls onto the belt and heads into the furnace, screaming. Robot thinks he hears Dr. Smith and stops the belt. Robot tells him to thank his non theorizing, general utility environmental Robot. Smith would be reduced totally to fat not 20 percent minerals and calories like a normal human would be. Units spin on the Robot's head. Smith says, "I'm a fine figure of a man and I always was. Oh the pain, the pain."  Robot goes. Smith wonders if the diamond is really a useless bit of carbon like the Junkman told him, "We shall see."  He moves the lever on the furnace and fire comes out. He screams, "Ohhhhhh!"  He runs, screaming.                


NOTE: This may have included scenes to the next week's rerun of either CONDEMNED OF SPACE or the cliffhanger to BLAST OFF INTO SPACE or some other episode.


SYNDICATION ADS: Scene from Mechanical Men as blast hits forcefield and shakes Jupiter. All run out. John says, "Now I'll give you one guess what that was."


"Join America's First Family In Space on Lost In Space, weekdays at 4 on TV55."  


Robot talks just after IDAK appeared.



An alternate version of this starts with BLAST OFF INTO SPACE scenes of Don recovering from the earthquake, "Your father was almost right--he said the next one may hit in this area. Where's Smith and Will."  And with Smith saying, "It will endure forever,"  in reference to his statue; then a blast and Nerum comes up; then the Robot talks about IDAK ("I had to recheck everything twice but all indications are that this is a super android!") as narrator starts in, "Join America's first family in space weekdays at 4 on TV-55."    

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